|
DIVORCE: WHEN IS A GOOD TIME TO START A DIVORCE |
| |
When is a good time to start a divorce? |
| |
My spouse filed for divorce, but I do not want a divorce. What can I do about it? |
| |
Is there an advantage to be gained by my filing for divorce first? |
| |
I own a business. How well I am doing financially depends on the economy. Does this make a difference as to when divorce proceedings should be brought? |
| |
I just discovered my spouse is involved in an affair. My spouse feels very guilty about the affair. Should I try for a divorce settlement immediately? |
| |
|
| Q: |
When is a good time to start a divorce? |
| A: |
Never, in most marriages. In the short run, since the assets you have will be divided, each will have less. The income of the main breadwinner will be diminished if there is child support and/or if there is maintenance (alimony). The money received as child support is seldom enough to support the children. A study has shown that in the long run the financial status of the woman, if she is custodian of children, diminishes.
On the other hand, a truly bad marriage is like a bad investment, and ordinarily you should cut your losses short as soon as possible. |
| |
Back to Top |
| |
|
| Q: |
My spouse filed for divorce, but I do not want a divorce. What can I do about it? |
| A: |
Stall. First there is marriage counseling. If you want to preserve your marriage your lawyer should refer you to a good marriage counselor, but lawyers are not marriage counselors. What your lawyer can do for you is to buy you time. Sometimes the decision to divorce is a rash one and time will cure the problem. Do not, however, buy into a separation. Despite the fact that many marriage counselors recommend a trial separation when the marriage is in trouble, I recommend against a separation if you want to keep the marriage together. Separation does not make the heart grow fonder. A separation is usually only a way of setting the framework for a divorce. A good stall is to fight the grounds for divorce, but at the end of two years of living apart, a"no-fault" divorce may be granted. |
| |
Back to Top |
| |
|
| Q: |
Is there an advantage to be gained by my filing for divorce first? |
| A:: |
No, not usually. Generally what dictates when divorce proceedings should be filed is if a court order is required as, for example, for temporary child support, temporary child custody, or for an injunction to prohibit a party from disposing of assets. |
| |
Back to Top |
| |
|
| Q: |
I own a business. How well I am doing financially depends on the economy. Does this make a difference as to when divorce proceedings should be brought? |
| A: |
1. Yes. If the business was started during the marriage it is probably a marital asset and the court will be concerned with the value of the business. Since the value of the business may well be less during an economic down cycle, like a recession, this may be a good time for the owner of the business to be divorced. But keep in mind the value of the business is determined as of the time of trial and not when the divorce suit is filed.
2. Similarly, in a slow economy, the business owner' s income may be reduced. Reduced income may have an impact on the amount of child support and/or maintenance obligation. |
| |
Back to Top |
| |
|
| Q: |
I just discovered my spouse is involved in an affair. My spouse feels very guilty about the affair. Should I try for a divorce settlement immediately? |
| A: |
Yes, if you want to take advantage of the guilt. Guilt usually leads to a more generous settlement than you would have otherwise. But the guilt dissipates quickly, so you must act quickly. On the other hand, by acting quickly you will be divorced quickly. You should carefully consider whether the affair truly means the end of your marriage. |
| |
Back to Top |
