Thousands of couples adopt each year, both domestically and from abroad.  An increasing number of infertile couples, however, are also considering surrogate parenting to build a family.  Both options can offer you a chance to love and parent a child.  But only surrogacy will provide you with a genetic tie.  In adoption, you may not meet the birth mother until she is far along in her pregnancy or until after the baby has been born.  With surrogacy, prospective parents usually meet and have a chance to get acquainted with the birth mother before a pregnancy has occurred.  As a result, all parties can take their time to consider the various emotional, legal and financial issues that are involved.

Birth mothers who place children for adoption may be young, desperate, financially strapped and unable to cope with caring for a newborn.  By contrast, surrogates are typically married, over 21, with one or more children already at home.  They become pregnant by design, not by mistake.  As a result, surrogates are much less likely than birth mothers in adoption to change their minds about relinquishment.  With gestational ( in vitro fertilization) surrogacy, using the intended parents' own egg and sperm, it is possible in some states to get their names right on the birth certificate. When only the biological father is related the child, his wife may be able to complete a step-parent adoption to become the child's legal mother.  Usually, a home study is not required in these cases.

Prospective parents who choose surrogacy to build their family report feeling joy at being able to get to know the surrogate and be actively involved in the process.  Some parents are even in the delivery room to see the birth of their child.  Many couples also stay in touch with their surrogate long after the birth.  In some cases, forever friendships are formed, with the birth mother remaining close to the new family she has helped to create.

Financially, surrogacy can be more expensive.  On average, traditional or classic surrogacy (via artificial insemination) can run upwards of $35,000 - $40,000.  Gestational ( in vitro fertilization) surrogacy can be even more expensive, depending on how many embryo transfers it takes to achieve a pregnancy.  These figures take into account the cost of obtaining necessary legal, medical and psychological services before, during and after the pregnancy.  They also take into account the surrogate's fee, typically $12,500 - $18,000 in addition to expenses.  While more costly, surrogacy does offer a genetic tie and it also allows the couple to be involved in their family-building in a much more direct and personal way.

For more information about the option of surrogacy, contact OPTS , P.O. Box 213, Wheeling, IL  60090.

H. Joseph Gitlin